3 concerning viral math trends

Vanessa Vakharia 0:02

Crying over math has become this shared cultural experience in North America. Can we think about that? A, a shared cultural experience of crying over our math homework as children? Why have we normalized that? This reel has gone viral, this trend has gone viral not because it's, like, an especially clever joke, but because millions of people immediately recognize themselves in it, If the shirt said, "I'm too handsome to do math," it wouldn't be funny. People would be like, "What?" Because there's no cultural belief that like men or attractive men aren't also intelligent, but there is for women, and that is just messed up. Hello, and welcome to this week's episode of Math Therapy, which I'm recording from a beautiful motel room in beautiful Bar Harbor, Maine. Now, I've been on the road for this past week, which means I've been on Instagram a lot. Every plane ride, every Uber ride, every whatever ride, there I am on my phone. And that means that I have noticed that something very strange is going on because I have received multiple DMs about multiple math trends, none of which are very good. You know, in 2010, I wrote a master's thesis called Imagining a World Where Paris Hilton Loves Math, and in that thesis, I integrated an interdisciplinary approach involving feminist theory, marketing theory, and mathematics education in order to uncover, discover, you know, interrogate, explore, research, figure out why and how media and pop culture actually make it impossible for women to retain their identities while also identifying as being good at math. I mean, you guys know that I've said this a million times before, and if you're new to the podcast, I'm gonna ask you right now, when's the last time you saw a movie or TV show where the cheerleader character was good at math? I say that because you're probably going to say, "Well, never," because it has never happened. Now, I will say there is a character in Mindy Kaling's Sex Lives of College Girls, Leighton, and she is a cheerleader who's good at math, but part of her whole, like, character arc is that she hides that because she wants to be cool, so, like, I don't even count that. Here's the real truth, is forever and ever and ever, we've been sold this lie that women either need to be a certain way, or they can't actually be good at math or belong to the world of mathematics. And that certain way, by the way, usually has to do with femininity. They need to not be what we consider traditionally feminine in order to be good at math. They can't wear makeup. They can't, like, dress nicely. They can't care about the way they look. They can't have social skills. They can't have crushes. They can't be in love. Like, they can, but if they do, then they're gonna be given the role in the movie or TV show that's, like, the pretty, popular girl, not the nerdy girl who's good at math that needs a makeover to get the guy. Now, you might be thinking, "Vanessa, your master's thesis was in 2010. Everything's changed since then," and I would love to agree with you. I really would. However, here we are a decade and a half later, and I'm about to share three viral math trends from the last week that paint a very different picture, and the picture they paint is, "Oh, wow, it's like it's 2010 again." Now, when these trends popped across my feed, my first instinct was, "Okay, oh my God, can everyone please stop doing this? Can everyone please stop sharing this? Can these trends please stop? Like, what are we doing?" I was mad at the creators. I was mad at the people who were, like, emulating the trends. I was like, "Oh my God, you guys are just reinforcing all the stereotypes." But then I started reading the comments, and I was like, "You know what? This is a, like, don't hate the player, hate the game situation," because it's not the individuals who are sharing the content or who are, like, in the comments being like, "Oh my God, I can relate," or the ones who are copying the trends and making them their own. It's not entirely their fault, because the reason they are latching onto these trends is because the trends are making them feel seen, and I think that's the bigger problem, is that we have this collective malaise around mathematics and like these trends are just a byproduct of that. And like we have to stop ignoring it. We have to stop ignoring it, and we have to figure out what to do here So today, while I'm here to criticize these trends, because honestly I really am, I also wanna unpack why they resonate so deeply, what they're telling us about our relationship with math, and why I actually think they're pointing us towards a much bigger conversation about math trauma. And I do want to point out these trends all involve women. They all involve women. So I just have to say, I want you to look at this through this lens of the fact that these three things I'm about to talk about are specifically targeting women. Ask yourself what kind of message that's sending, what purpose that serves, and how we're gonna go about fixing this whole situation that we found ourselves in, where yet again, in 2026, women are still being told that they can't be themselves and be good at math. Now, before I get into the three trends, if you're listening to this right now and you're like, "Oh my God, this sounds like it's gonna get really juicy," it is. If you're also listening to this right now being like, "I've been seeing this stuff too, and I've been telling my friends to stop sharing it," or, "I've been seeing this stuff too, and, like, I don't know what to do about it," the first thing you can do is actually share this episode. Share this episode right now, because the sooner we stop just blindly kind of looking at these trends and scrolling by them, and instead stopping, seeing them for what they are, and taking action, the sooner our, like, stratosphere, our feeds, our, like, world, our- the noise around us, the sooner that will get cleaned up. Because the truth is, when we have stereotypes floating around and we are constantly seeing stuff on our screens that reinforces those stereotypes, those stereotypes get normalized. So the first thing you can do is send this episode to somebody else right now so that they're aware of them too, so that they too can take the actions that I'm gonna share at the end of this episode. All right. Let's get into it

1) "I'm creative ... bc I suck at math"

Vanessa Vakharia 6:10

Okay, viral trend number one. I have been sent this by so many people in so many different forums. At first... Okay, so the first way this popped across my feed is it was a video of Gracie Bowers, who is, like, an amazing rock star, and what the text said over her reel was, "You're so creative," in quotation marks, and then the next set of quotation marks said, "Thanks. I used to cry during math homework." And then there's, like, a video of her, like, rocking out on stage. I saw this and I was like, "Oh my God, poor Gracie. I should get her on the podcast." I didn't realize it was a trend. I thought she was just making this video. But then I started getting it sent to me by more and more people. The next one was the exact same thing, "You're so creative." "Thanks. I used to cry during math homework," and this was a person, like, painting in the background. Another one, "You're so creative." "Thanks. I used to cry during math homework." This one was somebody, like, painting a room and, like, doing a whole floor plan and designing a house. And I was like, "Oh my God, this is a trend. It's a trend." And why do I know that? Because on the third one I watched, there was a little button I could press that said, "Use this template." And I was like, "Oh my God, this is a template someone has made." So, like, now, uh, people can just go in and fill in their clips in the backdrop, and the text will stay the same. The text will keep saying, "You're so creative." "Thanks. I used to cry during math homework." Oh my God. Okay, so I have so many thoughts here. The first is, how many times do we hear about people crying over math homework? It's always crying. We're always crying over our math homework. That actually really upsets me because I don't think that's something that's made up. I think that's a real experience people share. I think it was traumatizing for so many people, and it is traumatizing, and I think that trauma bond is really deep when you see someone else post about it. But the deeper thing here is this idea of being creative versus doing math. The message of this trend seems to be like, "Look at me now." Like, someone's getting a compliment for how creative they are, and they're, like, really proud, and they're like, "Thank you so much for validating me because you know what? Back in the day, I used to cry over my math homework." I'm taking away two things, and I am actually curious. Like, text the podcast if you have another interpretation. My interpretation is that the message the reel is sending is, number one, you're either creative or mathematical, right? Like, these people are being celebrated because they're so creative, and then they're like, "Thanks." Like, "I never needed math anyway." And actually, a lot of their captions will say, "Never needed math anyway." So it's kind of like this fuck you to being like, "Yeah, I used to cry over my math homework, but, like, look at me now." But, like, what bothers me is, like, so many of these people in the videos they've posted in these reels are doing things that involve math. Like, es- the person who's, like, decorating the inside of her home and painting the walls, I'm like, I-- "You're using math." I mean, Gracie Bower, like, a musician, you're using math. Like, you know, you're using math not only in your chord progressions and your song structures, but, like, uh, you're a musician. You're a, a, a business person. Like, I know you're using math in that sense. But I also get it. I'm not mad at them. I'm just like, ugh, I know what's happening here. They're using math that wasn't traditionally evaluated in the math classroom, and therefore it never counted as real math. You know, I find this, anytime someone says they suck at math, what they really mean is, "I was not good at or was not made to feel good at the math that I did in class, the math that was evaluated in class." And that's just really depressing because it shows, like, this whole vibe of we have so much work to do with how we're defining mathematics, because everyone posting this reel, you know, their assumption is they're do- using no math in their day-to-day life when they really are, and yet again, I, we're reinforcing that stereotype that you're creative or good at math. And on the flip side, they're using so much math, but on the other hand, when we're doing math, we are being so creative. Solving math problems is inherently creative in nature, right? Like, I just Engineers are constantly just coming up with creative solutions. They're like, "We could try this. We could try that." When you're solving a problem that you don't know how to solve, that's when creativity flourishes. In fact, when we're solving problems that we know how to solve or that we are told to use a specific formula for or to just copy steps, you're right. There is no creativity in that. And again, this is not the fault of the people posting the reel. That's probably how they were taught math, in a very uncreative way. But math at its core is creative. You're supposed to not know how to solve the problem, and then use creativity to figure it the fuck out. Like, that's the whole thing. So I feel like that's message number one from this reel is you're either creative or you're good at math. The other message I'm getting from this reel is that giant, like, "F you." You know? It's that, like, "Thank you. I am really creative. I am good at something. I used to cry over my math homework because I was made to feel like I was dumb." That's really the vibe I'm getting, especially from so many of these captions. And I think that again points to this entire issue we have where, like, we have positioned it so that math is the thing that makes you smart, so that when kids don't know math, they feel stupid, they feel unintelligent, they feel less worthy. They struggle through school feeling like they have no sense of self. And then, you know, in later years they find this thing they're passionate about, and they can look back and say, "See, I was worth something. Math was not the thing that defined me." And like fucking of course it's not the thing that defines you. But why do so many people feel like it is? That's our fault. I mean, not us, like the people, like, making the podcast, AKA me, or listening to the podcast, you. But it... as a collective, that is our fault. What are we doing that is making people identify so to a core level with the fact that they were bad at math? What is happening here? And you know what, guys? Honestly, the comments just reaffirm how big of a feeling this is. I'm just gonna read some of them to you out now. remember, this is a reel that's like, "You're so creative." "Thanks. I used to cry over my math homework." People are simply responding to the... Like, people have latched onto the, "I used to cry over my math homework," and here are some of the comments: "Same, girl." "So it wasn't just me." "Me too." "Literally." "You're not alone." "Relatable AF." "I get it, girl," broken heart emoji. "OMG 100% relate. I used to cry because I couldn't solve my maths homework." We get this." Then someone commented, "You're either pretty or you can do math," nail emoji. Oh my fucking God. "Same girl, same girl." "Literally." "Me too." "I used to cry all the time." "This is so relatable." A lot of crying emojis. Crying emoji, cry- Okay. You get the picture. The point is that there... A- and you know what I have to say? Any time I see a reel or anything on Instagram about someone being like, "I'm crying over my math homework," or, "I used to cry," it's hundreds, thousands of comments, guys, thousands of comments of people being like, "Me too." And then these s- horrible stories that I'm just like, "Oh my God, math trauma, math trauma, math trauma." Like people being like, "My dad used to yell at me." Like, "I used to be up with my parents till 3:00 AM." "My teacher told me I was stu-" Like it's like this endless thing. So, like, crying over math has become this shared cultural experience in North America. Can we think about that? A, a shared cultural experience of crying over our math homework as children? And this is the thing, this reel has gone viral, this trend has gone viral not because it's, like, an especially clever joke, but because millions of people immediately recognize themselves in it, and I want us to think about how strange that is. Why have we normalized that? If someone joked that, like, science homework left them in tears for years or, like, their history homework, like, was this endless source of, like, pain and grief every single day for years, we'd be like, "What? Oh, interesting." Like, "Tell me more about that." We'd probably ask questions about it. But with math, we're like, "Yep, me too." That's it, the end. We don't even ask why. It's like, "Yeah, of course." The thing is, this trend tells me that we've normalized emotional pain around math. All these trends tell me that, actually. We've stopped seeing those experiences as something worth unpacking, and it's just something to be like, "Yep, me too. I agree. It's normal." It's normal, and the solution is you say fuck it to math, and you move on and do something non-mathematical with the rest of your life, and then look back and try to heal from years and years of not feeling good enough from math. Like, what? What? Like, why isn't the conversation, "Why did so many of us have this experience? Why is this a rite of passage growing up?" Like, it's incredibly revealing, and it tells us we've become more comfortable bonding over math pain than questioning why so many people experienced it in the first place Now, I made a reel to, like, try to combat this, but I don't think I did a great job explain- like, you'd have to read the caption, but I made a reel using this, and I actually put my own videos of me doing math. So the reel says, like, "You're so creative." "Thanks. I used to cry doing math homework," and it's me doing math in the background, and in the caption I tried to unpack it. So you can check that out on Instagram if you wanna, like, share that, uh, if you wanna read what I said in the caption, if you want to, like, send that to somebody who feels like they're creative at the exclusion of math or vice versa. So I've got that up there for you. Let's move on to the next trend.

2) "I'm just pretending to do math"

Vanessa Vakharia 15:15

Okay, the second trend that has gone viral right now is basically... So the way the format works is you post a video of you, like, driving, chilling, doing whatever, and then the text over top says, "Please know that if we are ever in a situation where we are both doing a math problem in our heads trying to figure something out, I am pretending and it's all on you." Okay. Again, the comments are the same thing. The comments are people being like, "Yep, it's definitely on you," or like, "That would never be me doing the math problem," or, "Math in my head? LOL," or, "Math? Who knows her?" Like, those are all the comments. And on the surface, like, it's like a joke about mental math. Like, okay, fine, we're not doing math in our heads, but it's really not about that. It's really not about that. This gives me the impression, like, when I see this, I'm like, okay, what is the takeaway here? The takeaway to me is, again, this vibe of yeah, like, if we're ever in a situation where we're both supposed to be doing a math problem, just know that I'm not doing it. There's no way I'm doing mental math, period. It's about confidence. It's about identity. It's about what we've learned to believe about ourselves, right? Like, people aren't saying, "I'm out of practice," or like, "Let me just get a piece of paper." Like, that wouldn't be very clickbait, but like, do you know what I mean? They're saying, "I've accepted that somebody else should do this. I've accepted that the person doing the math should not be me." It's the classic, like, it's dinner time and the bill comes, and we all pass the bill to someone else to calculate the tip. Like, we're just like, "Oh, no, it shouldn't be me." It's a bit... it's giving learned helplessness. Like, I know that seems, like, really dramatic, but it's kind of giving learned helplessness, to be honest. Somewhere along the way, millions of people have learned that pretending was safer than trying, and like, that's the other thing about this reel, right? They're basically sa- saying, "If we're both stuck in a situation where we're both, like, supposed to be solving a math problem, know that I'm sitting there pretending I'm solving it. But that's actually not what's happening, and I'm actually waiting for you to give me the answer." And I think this just shows us, again, another collective feeling that, like, being wrong in math wasn't just uncomfortable for us, and it's not just uncomfortable. It's embarrassing. It's exposing. It's, like, proof that we're not smart. So, like, the best strategy is pretend you know what's going on and let someone else answer. And also, I, with these reels, I think it's like, make yourself the joke first before someone else can do it, right? Like, there's so much shame attached to it. This is gonna seem completely unrelated, but it's actually not, and I'm gonna tell you guys a story. I just finished visiting Acadia National Park. Now, I've never been to a national park. All right? Like, I don't- I'm not, like, a hiker. I'm not, like, a... I, I mean, I like nature, but, like, you know, I've got my limits. But, you know, everyone talks, talks about this national park, and there was supposed to be this beach there. And you guys know I'm overcoming my fear of driving in the US and driving rental cars, and, like, I have got my rental car. I feel really good in it, and I was like, you know what? Like, it's a beautiful day. I wanna go on this adventure. I wanna, like, go see the ocean. So I go to this national park. This place was insane. It was insa- oh my God, guys. I swear, I just looked up and I swear there is a ma- oh my God. Oh my God. Okay, wait till you hear what I'm about to tell you, and you're gonna hear how TANC that is. And TANC, by the way, means There Are No Coincidences. I have a tattoo to my right bicep. Okay, this is crazy. This is crazy. I wasn't even gonna tell this story, but now I have to. I just looked up, and there is a map right in front of me. Now, why is that TANC? Well, because I go into the national park. I thought this park, like, I don't know. I thought it was gonna be, like, 10 minutes to drive around the whole thing. This, this is a giant park. I finally find the visitor center, and I'm like... 'Cause I'm like, "How am I gonna know where to find Sand Beach?" That's apparently where the ocean is. And I'm like, "Oh, a sign for a visitor center. That makes sense. I'll go to the visitor center and I'll, like, ask them what's up." There are hundreds of people here, okay? Milling about with their hiking gear and their boots and their, like, walking sticks. I'm, like, cruising in. I've got a, a shoulder tote bag, which, by the way, I've now learned you should not bring hiking. That is not a good idea. Okay, fine. Who cares? I go to the visitor center. I get in line to buy the park pass, and I'm like, "Hey, Can you recommend, like, what..." There's, like, a bunch of different hikes, right? There's, like, tons of hi- I don't know how many, but, like, 50 different hikes and, like, trails. I don't know. Not 50, but, like, a lot. I'm like, "Could you recommend, like, a hike that would be, like, nice and easy and, like, around an ocean?" And the guy's like, "Yeah, go on the Ocean Walk Trail." I'm like, "Great. Could you show me where that is?" He whips open a giant map. Like, a giant map like you used to use in, like, the '90s. Like, a paper fucking map. Like, this thing is, like, bigger than a newspaper. And he's like, "All right, so you're standing right here." And he has his pen, right? He's like, "You're standing right here." Like, circles the thing. And he's like, "You're just gonna pop over there, and then you're gonna follow Route 3 to this, and then you're gonna turn left. Then there's this hairpin turn." And he's circling this shit all over the map, and I'm like, "Dude, I don't... hold your... Like, slow your roll." Now, it's not that I can't read a map. Well, it's kind of that I can't read a map, but it's because I've never put much effort into reading a map. I rely entirely on my GPS. I find it very hard to, like, orient myself around a map. Like, I'm one of those people that, like, you know, when you have your GPS on, and then you just start walking straight to see, like, whether the little pin, like, is in front of you or behind you, and then you course-correct that way instead of, like, orienting yourself in the first place and knowing which way to go. That's me. Again, growth mindset. I believe in it. I have not worked on this skill. I'm sure I could get better on it. At the moment, I am a zero at it. Okay? I'm like, "Dude," I'm like, "I do not know what you're saying." So finally I look at him and I'm like, "Listen, sir." I'm like, "I know this is, like, a concerning thing for me to be telling you in this national park, but, like, I'm not very comfortable reading maps. Like, I, I have no idea what you just said." And him and his friends look at each other and they're like, "Does someone else in your party...?" And I'm like, "Oh, no, it's just me." And he's like, "No problem." He literally goes, "No problem." He holds up the map, turns it around and goes, "This is where you're standing right now. Let's try to look at it from your perspective. You're gonna go down here." And I was like, "Okay, this is so much easier." And I was like, "Okay, and, like, if I can't find it..." He was like, "Honestly, if you can't find it, you can always throw on your GPS. Like, this is what you would put in your GPS." Now, by the way, guys, there was, like, no reception at this park, so I could not have used my GPS, but, like, he was so helpful. He was like... He slowed down immediately. He was like, "Okay, like, how do you want me to explain this to you?" He was like, "You're gonna see signs." Like, he made me feel so much better about the whole thing. Anyways, I left. I ended up not, I didn't even pick up the map ever again, but I, like, followed the signs, and some of the stuff he had said stuck in my head. So, like, when I got to that hairpin turn, I was like, "Oh, this must, must be, like, the hairpin turn." Anyways, I'm fine. I'm alive. Like, I went on the craziest hike. Like, two children had to basically lead me back down because I- they were like, we were climbing on our hands and knees, and I'd be like, "Guys, how do we get down here?" And then they would just, like, hop over it like it was no big deal. They were very nice. Doesn't matter. I'm safe. I'm alive. And my point of the story is... I have learned in my life to just ask for help. I have learned to never be scared of saying, "I don't know. I don't understand. Explain it to me again for a 10th time." And because of that, I've had the opportunity to learn so much. I did the hike today. I found the place. I experienced being temporarily lost. I regained my footing. I, like, did the whole hike. I did two trails. I knew where I was. Like I left with such a sense of accomplishment and being like, "Holy shit." Like, I really... You know, when I was at that visitor center when that guy first whipped out the map, like, I was considering being like, "I think you should call it a day and go home." You know what I mean? And I didn't, and because I expressed my need for help, the guy helped me, and because he helped me, I was able to do the thing, and because I did the thing, I now feel more confident. Do you see what I mean? But in math, and, like, back to this whole reel and what it tells us is, it's just so much easier to pretend you know what's happening, get through the moment, ditch the shame and embarrassment that could come with ad- admitting that you don't know, and get through the moment. Like, survive the moment instead of actually making something of it. But the problem is, you survive the moment. You get through it. We all got through math class. But you leave, and even though you move on to other things and you don't think you're ever using math again, fine. You always carry that wound with you and that belief that you couldn't do the thing. Because you never asked for help, and therefore you never got the help you needed, and you were never able to see what you're truly capable of. 'Cause I know everyone posting these reels is capable of doing math, right? Like, I feel it hurts for me to be like, "Fuck," like, they're all carrying these wounds. Like, they were made to feel like they couldn't do math. And also, by the way, they were made to feel like they couldn't ask for help. I believe that. I think that it's really hard in so many classrooms, and this is part of the work we're all doing with Math Therapy. How do we create a safe environment so a kid can say, "I know you explained this to me five times. I still don't get it. I still don't get it." Right? Like, and that's on us. That's on us. We've gotta create environments where that's okay. And, and many of us grew up in an environment where you weren't even allowed to ask a question, let alone say you didn't understand something for the fifth time. So all that to say, I mean, this reel to me, this whole trend of being like, if we're ever both supposed to be working on a math problem and it looks like I'm doing math in my head, so it's on you, that's like a protective strategy, right? We're like bonding with one another being like, "Me too. Yep. Ha ha. LOL," like, "I can't do math, but don't worry," like, "I'll have you do it for me." And we're kind of just going into avoidance right there saying, "I will not be doing any math. I will be asking someone else, and I'm okay with that. I'm laughing about it so it doesn't hurt." But like it hurts to think that you just can't do something, especially when that thing is math, and math is this thing in school that was like used to make people feel big or small. Again, if you got another interpretation of what this reel might mean, what this trend might be saying, text the podcast right now. There's a link in your show notes. Click that link and text me. I wanna know what you think it means.

3) "I'm too pretty to do math"

Vanessa Vakharia 24:52

And finally, we are gonna get... Oh my God, I'm nervous for this third one, to be honest okay, this one is not an Instagram trend, or at least that's not how it started. But I, I... You know what? It's actually nice that I'm ending here, because I'm ending with something that happened that we together have rectified in a way. And that is that the third viral trend-ish thing that happened is a Australian retailer called Myer came out with a shirt, and on that shirt it said, "I'm too pretty to do math." Now, you're probably thinking, "Vanessa, this sounds very familiar. I'm having déjà vu." Yes, you are fucking having déjà vu. Why? Because the exact same shirt came out in 2011. In fact, that was part of my master's thesis work, was interrogating all of the clothing that was out that was marketed... By the way, by the way, I've not even mentioned this yet. Notice that the past two reels that I've talked about, the past two viral trends, the only people I have seen using them and sharing them are women. Just FYI. Okay, and now this shirt is a shirt for women. It is targeted to girls and women. Now, in 2011, I did this entire deep dive into all of these shirts that came out. One of them was, "I'm too pretty to do my math homework, so my brother does it for me." There was, "I'm too pretty to do math." There was an entire Forever 21 line with things like, "Allergic to algebra," and other, like, kind of, like, demeaning things only for women. Only for women, okay? All of these shirts are only for women. I have not seen a "I'm too handsome to do math" shirt, by the way. Now, in 2011, when that Forever 21 line came out, I actually posted a picture of the shirt that said, "Allergic to algebra." It was, like, this pink T-shirt, and all of my students were like, "Oh my God, that's so cute." And immediately I was like, "Guys, it is telling you girls that, like, you should be wearing a shirt that says allergic to algebra because you can't possibly be good at math." They instantly went so to town on this that within a week the shirt was pulled from Forever 21. It was no longer for sale. They emailed, they tweeted. They, like, f- totally lost it. The same thing happened l- years later with Benefit Cosmetics, by the way. They had a whole c- ad campaign that was like, it's better to be... it, it said something... Oh, it w- it said, uh, "Skip class, not your concealer." And again, I posted about it. We all went... Like, honestly, you guys killed it, because we were all reposting, we were emailing, we were like... And that entire ad campaign got pulled. I cannot believe in 2020... I, I would like to say I can't believe, but I can believe in 2026, 15 years later, someone has made that shirt again. We've already been here. We've already done it. There it is, the shirt. I'm too pretty to do math. Wanna know the worst part? Within a week on the website, there was only two sizes left, which meant that people were buying this shirt. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. This sort of fascinates me because it's not just saying, "I'm not good at math," right? Like, it's turning math ability into this identity about... Like, the vibe is like, "This isn't something I do. This isn't something I'll ever become. This isn't j- who I am." But, like, the subtext here is... Well, I don't even think it's subtext. It's very obvious. The message is that pretty people don't do math. Sorry, let me, let me be specific. Pretty girls, pretty women don't do math. That stere- It just... It's back to the cheerleader. It's back to the fact that there's no cheerleader that's good at math. It's back to the fact that when girls are portrayed as doing math in the movies or TV, they're normally unpopular. They have, like, no sense of style. They have no social skills. They need the makeover to get the guy. Like, I just don't understand how this is still happening. Like, I just... You know what? So many people sent me this shirt, that, like, I was stunned. I was like, "This can't be re- This can't be a real thing." Then I learned it was, like, one of the most popular retailers in Australia, and I was like, "What is going on?" Here's, here's the good news. Actually, I won't tell you the good news. I wanna dig a bit deeper into this first. Like, imagine there was a shirt that said, "I'm too pretty to read," or, "I'm too pretty to write," or, like, "I'm too pretty to think." Would we be into that? Would we be sharing that? Would we be buying that? I don't know. Would we? I, I mean, I really don't think so, but this, "I'm too pretty to do math," it's like this instant grab. And honestly, you know what I will say? I think it's because girls have been told for so long that they can't possibly be smart, and of course, math is, like, the ultimate thing that makes you smart, even though that's BS. I'm just saying that's how we treat it, right? Like, we call people who are good at math smart. I think it's because they were told for so long, and still are to a degree, that, like, they can't possibly be smart. They can't possibly be good at math. They're always made to feel like, like, in math class, there's so much research that shows that boys are picked when their hands are raised more than girls. There's s- there's so much out there that, like, if a girl expresses that she's good at math, somebody will test her and be like, "Oh, really?" And doubt her. She has to prove herself. I think that has happened for so long that girls are finally like, "Yeah, fuck you. I'm too pretty to do math. Done. Great. Bye." Right? Like, it's, like, almost like... a bait and switch of them being like, "No, I'm the one who decided. I'm the one who decided, and fine, you think I can't do math? At least I'm pretty," which is social capital. Like, I, it really, really upsets me, and it really bothers me, especially because I have so many students, I have been tutoring girls for almost 20 years, and so many of them has, have expressed this sentiment that they're nervous. They're too scared to go into a STEM program. They're too scared to even say they're good at math or they like math. They hide the fact that they're good at math, because of this whole thing. They don't wanna be second-guessed. They don't want someone to think they're weird. They don't want someone to think they're a loser because, you know, you're either pretty or you're good at math. Like, I think there are, there are two main themes wrapped up in here. Theme number one is this idea that, like, being smart actually makes you less attractive, literally. And theme number two, which is girls wanting to claim something, some form of power over all of the people who have told them they can't possibly be smart. So being pretty is going to be that source of power. An article came out in The Conversation last week to talk about all of this, and the article is actually titled "Too Pretty to Do Math? Here's the Real Reason Girls Aren't Choosing to Study Maths". Because by the way, as I write this, there is still a massive gender gap in post-secondary education when it comes to math-related fields. And I really want to read this one section, okay? "Studies suggest the biggest causes of girls opting out of maths are differences in how girls perceive their own mathematical ability and their lower interest in the subject. In short, girls see themselves as less capable, even when they have the same actual math ability as their male classmates. They are also less interested in math. Children develop beliefs about who math is and isn't for from a very young age. These beliefs are shaped by the messages they receive from," are you ready? "Parents, teachers, peers, the media, and society. When girls repeatedly encounter the idea that math is a masculine domain, this can influence their confidence, sense of belonging, and willingness to continue engaging with math. So the fact that girls today are still hearing these messages that mathematics is not feminine is alarming." There. There it is, right there I just keep coming back to the fact that this is so targeted to women, the message is being feminine and being mathematical don't naturally belong together. And you know, when I talk about being feminine, I'm talking about the ways we have historically defined femininity. So like it's neither here nor there. Uh, what it really is, is being able to claim whatever identity you want as a woman is not an option for you if you also wanna be seen as smart. You know, Math Therapy, the book, if you haven't seen it, it's pink, and I wanted to make a pink book. And my publisher, Corwin, they were very supportive, but they also said, "We're, we're totally down. We'll make a pink book, but some people won't buy it." Imagine that. Some people won't buy it. It's too girly. It's too girly, and what does that mean? It means that some people won't take it seriously. Imagine the color of the cover of a book actually influencing what somebody thinks of the contents. But I mean, I guess that's why they say the whole thing about like don't judge a book by its cover, but that's not the point. I mean, it is, actually it is the point. But like that's the thing, right? It's this idea, and people who are wearing this shirt are probably not trying to communicate this, but that's the message. When we're buying this shirt, when we're being like, "I like this post," like, oh my God, I should... There's so many comments being like, "I wish I had this in high school," or, "This shirt is so me." Like, we are just reinforcing that stereotype. And we're reinforcing the stereotype because the cultural belief underneath why the joke works is that being feminine and being mathematical don't naturally belong together. That's why it's a joke, right? If the shirt said, "I'm too handsome to do math," it wouldn't be funny. People would be like, "What?" Because there's no cultural belief that like men or attractive men aren't also intelligent, but there is for women, and that is just messed up. It's just messed up that it's still happening in 2026.

Is there hope? What can we do?

Vanessa Vakharia 34:23

Now, I read to you guys... Okay, so tho- those are the three trends, okay? We've got the two reels, and we've got the shirts. We've got the comment sections, which are just reaffirming that these are landing, right? But with the shirt, something more amazing happened. What happened to me back in 2011 is happening now. People have been posting about the shirt, explaining why it's so culturally damaging. People have been saying they want that shirt taken down. National science organizations, STEM organizations, math organizations, women's only organizations, like feminist organizations, news outlets have s- have latched on. Why have they latched on? Because of social media. Because of you guys posting, reposting that shirt, explaining why it's a problem, explaining it's problematic, contacting news and media folks. And guys, I have great news. On this day, the shirt has been taken down. It is no longer for sale, and it just shows you what power we have. I mean, you can say all you want about social media, but this is the good thing about it, is we took that shit down, so it's no longer available. Now, that leads me to, what can we do, right? When we see this stuff, I have so many messages from you guys being like, "I'm so pissed off. I'm so sick of seeing this stuff. It makes me so upset." What can we do? Well, the first is to realize that what we say, what we project, what we share, what we wear sends a message. Every time we say, "I'm bad at math. I've never been a math person. My brain just doesn't work that way," we strengthen that belief. And then when thousands of other people agree, it becomes even more deeply rooted. This is the nature of stereotype reinforcement, right? The comments aren't just describing someone's identity, they're reinforcing it, reinforcing it. Every time someone likes it, it reinforces it. And that's why these trends matter, not just because they're offensive, but because they're showing us in real time how math trauma continues to live long, long after people leave school. So what do we do? What do we do here? I'm gonna share a few things we can do. If you're listening to this, you're getting all fired up. You're like, "I've seen that trend. What do I do the next time it pops across my feed?" Here are a few things. I'm not saying we should stop making jokes, right? Humor can absolutely be a part of healing. But when a joke is reinforcing a embedded stereotype that is harmful, we have to stop. We have to ask ourselves why is that joke funny, and if it's funny because it's reinforcing something that we wanna stop perpetuating, then maybe we shouldn't be making that joke. Questions we can ask ourselves when we see something like this and we're about to laugh or about to share is, why is this so relatable? Why do so many adults still carry these beliefs? What happened in our classrooms that made millions of people feel this way? And what would it look like to stop treating math anxiety like a personality trait and start treating it like an experience we can heal from. Next, don't share it. That's honestly... If you're like, "I don't wanna comment, I don't..." 'Cause, you know, I also don't wanna start a whole war here, right? The per- uh, to- in my opinion, the people posting these reels have math trauma. That's why they're posting them. So, like, getting into the comments and being like, "You're being so damaging. Stop perpetuating..." I don't, I actually don't think that's the move. I've been commenting on them being like, Hey, I totally understand why you're sharing this. I'm so sorry you feel that way. Let me tell you about my experience 'cause I actually felt like I couldn't do math, and then, like, I found out that, like, someone had been explaining it to me in a way that just didn't suit my needs," or, "Another teacher explained it this right way," or, "There's still hope," or, "You never have to do math again. I totally support that, but I want you to know that, like, I know you can do it," or... You know what I mean? Like, I'm more t- likely to comment something like that. I also do look through the comments, and if I see somebody being like, "I feel this way, too. I had this teacher who did this," or like, "I was always told I was stupid," I usually comment something nice. But honestly, the, the number one thing you can do and the easiest thing you can do is just don't share it. Don't keep that thing circulating, right? The more it circulates, the more people are getting it across their feed. And the third thing you can do is what all of these people did with the shirt. Make your own media. Make your own reel explaining why you think this is problematic or sending a different message. Contact media outlets. Email the companies that are making shit like, "I'm too pretty to do math" shirts, right? Like, it makes a difference. Get a Math Therapy crew together, like a, a Math Therapy street team, and when you see stuff like this, call it out and create a counter-message. It was really cool. I actually saw an organization actually posted about this "I'm too pretty to do math" shirt, and they wrote, you know, they wrote a whole blurb about why it was problematic, and then they said, "Drop in the comments a different message we could put on a shirt instead." Okay, here are some of the things people commented. I'm gonna read some of them to you because they're funny. Okay, the first one says, "I'm too pretty not to do math." Then someone wrote, "It's Mrs. Doctor to you." We've got, "brains, beauty, and big equations" "Solving problems, looking fabulous" "My favorite subject is myself and math" "Math is my superpower" love that, "Currently solving for my future" Girls do math, too, get over it." I mean, there are so many, and I love this, and honestly, let's see that merch. Honestly, that's another thing you can do. Go make a shirt. Go make that shirt right now. Make a mug. Make a tote. You know, when I wrote my master's thesis, by the way, in 2010, you know, in, in my thesis, I was providing all these solutions to, like, this whole problem, and one of my solutions was that Paris Hilton should make a brand of clothing that says... you know how her thing is, like, "That's hot"? I was like, "She should make a whole brand that's, like, 'Math is hot.'" I was like, imagine she wore that shirt and girls bought that shirt and wore it. It-- like, we need to change... I, I'm such a believer in the power of pop culture, and our influence over it with social media now is so much more than when I wrote that thesis in 2010, we had, like, no social power, at least social media-wise. Now, we can, we can make our own merch. We can make this shit. I'm gonna make this stuff. I'm gonna make it. That's it. I'm making it. Okay, fine. Great. Oh my God, as if I need more work to do. I am making it. That is how we're ending this episode. I am making it. Tell me what slogans. That is what you're texting me. Text me the T-shirt slogans you wanna see. Also, do we want mugs? Do we want totes? Like, what do we want? Make it, and I'm gonna make us an entire back to school line to combat this bullshit I'm too pretty to do math shit. Okay, that was a lot of swearing. That was too much swearing in one sentence.

Outro

Vanessa Vakharia 40:44

Guys, okay, this has been so amazing. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being the change we all wish to see. Let's remember that these trends are not creating math trauma. They are revealing math trauma, and unfortunately reinforcing it, in my opinion. They're re-triggering it, but they're also, like, providing this catharsis for people who haven't healed, but I want people to really heal, and I want us to be a part of the change, and I know if you're listening to this, you already are. These trends are showing us how many people are still carrying painful stories about math, and that is an opportunity. Because once we stop accepting those stories as permanent identities, we can finally start changing them, and that is what we are doing right now. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you for all the work you do. Anytime you see bullshit like this or any trends, DM them to me on Instagram @themathguru. Make sure to text the podcast by hitting the link in your show notes. Tell me what slogans you wanna see on a shirt, and tell me what other merch to make with that slogan. Like, we are taking it back. We are making this math is a cool vibe pop culture line. We are doing it right now. I am committed to the task. Okay, the end. Love you. See you next week. Thank you for fighting the good fight. We would be nowhere without you, and we are everywhere because of you. Xoxo.