4 ways to build math confidence

Vanessa Vakharia 0:03

math anxiety grows in isolation. That's actually how anxiety flourishes. We keep it to ourselves, our thoughts spiral, we get all in our heads, and that's how it grows and takes us over. But math confidence grows in community, because when we have community, when we have somebody else reflecting back to us what we're doing and what we're thinking, we see the reality instead of the tricks anxiety is trying to play on our mind. Hello, hi, and welcome to another episode of Math Therapy. It's me, your host, Vanessa Vakharia. I'm staring at a lake. It is July. as much as I wanna jump into that lake that I'm looking at, and I'm going to as soon as this is done, I have to record this episode because yesterday I was on a run and I was like, "Oh my God, I had a sudden epiphany, and now I need to turn it into the episode." So, like, I'm aware that this sounds like the ramblings of a crazy person, which it low-key kind of is, but let me back up and tell you this. So as educators, we are constantly learning. My teacher friends are, like, the most amazing learners, It's July, they have the summer off, but I, don't know a single person who isn't still, like, listening to podcasts or, like, enrolled in a book study or doing some casual professional development or some not casual professional development. A couple of weeks ago, I actually keynoted the Summer Learning Institute in Maine, and 100 teachers gathered for three days, like three overnights, to learn about literacy and numeracy. It was actually amazing. But, like, it's work, right? Like, they're, they are learning. And so many of my teacher friends are like, "My number one goal is to feel more confident in the classroom next September," you know? Like, "I've been feeling a bit anxious around math, and I really wanna feel more confident. I wanna enter the classroom a more confident teacher." And I feel like the thing we don't talk about that often is the biggest thing standing between you and a more confident September you isn't, like, new instructional practices or more content. I'm not saying it never is, but I feel like there's a low-key secret thing that's actually standing in the way, and that is your relationship with math. And I would even take it one step further. Our relationship with math isn't just about math. It's our relationship with doing things that seem hard or doing things that we've been told we can't do or doing things that feel unsafe. And for so many of us, educators included, math is this thing that has historically made us feel unsafe. So we can learn all the content in the world, and we can develop all this new pedagogy and instructional practices and get all these new strategies and, like, this and that and ways to start the class and, like, you know, tasks and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Those are all great. But if we feel unsafe, if our nervous systems feel as unsafe as they always have around math, we're never gonna feel better. It doesn't mean that we're bad teachers. Doesn't mean that we're not doing a good job. But I want you, the listener, you, hello, I want you to feel good. I want you to walk into September and be like, "I got this. I fucking got this. Like, I'm not scared." Because being scared is just a shitty feeling, and as someone who feels scared and out of control a lot, um, I, I'm saying that. I'm saying that firsthand. And I say that because you guys have probably all listened to my mental breakdown episode about taxes. Well, it's not that I'm coming to you with the same energy right now, but the energy is not so different. Because I'm noticing that once again, I'm in a spiral around something that makes me feel unsafe, and that thing for me is feeling like I, I'm not organized, feeling like I don't have organizational systems in place, and feeling like I don't understand where to start. And it is the exact same way that so many educators and non-educators feel about math. "I don't understand it. I've traditionally never felt good at it. It feels like every time I do it, I get it wrong, and ugh, ick, bleh." Now, let me, let me make this parallel even stronger right now. I am an organized person, right? Like, you guys, you guys know me. Like, I mean, I'm not saying I'm the most organized person, but I'm obviously organized enough, right? Like, I run several businesses, I travel all the time, and I have yet to miss a flight. I mean, it's Mercury retrograde, so I shouldn't be putting that out into the ether. But, like, you know what I mean? Like, I get shit done. Like, everything's- I'm living my life. Like, I get it together. I'm fine. So I must be organized enough, right? But it doesn't matter, because I don't feel organized, right? So as organized I am, as much as my... Like, it's just like you guys, teachers. You're teaching. You're doing a great job. In fact, s- your students are probably like, "This is the best math teacher I've ever had." But you don't feel confident. You don't feel like a great math teacher, and that honestly matters just as much, if not more, than the reality. So I want to get into an episode today that is all about how we are going to get you to feel confident and safe when you are teaching math in the fall. And if you're listening to this and you're like, "I'm not teaching math in the fall," fine. I want you to feel confident and safe by the time September rolls around. I want you to feel confident and safe whenever math is present in your environment.

Confidence is built through experience

Vanessa Vakharia 5:10

Now, here's the thing. Confidence isn't something you have. Confidence is something your nervous system learns, and it learns that through experiences that validate the fact that you are doing the thing that you are scared of doing, and nothing bad is happening. It happens through having experiences that actually are safe, and when you complete those experiences or engage in them, your nervous system registers, "Oh, I am safe doing this thing." And it happens through experience because you have had experiences that have showed you the other side. You've had experiences around math that have shown you, "I'm not safe doing math. Bad shit happens when I do math. I don't feel good when I do math, and I get in trouble when I do math. I get yelled at. I get a bad mark. Something bad happens. I get a..." Whatever it is, your nervous system has learned that it's not safe for you. So we now need to show it through experience that it's not true anymore, that that is an old story. And the way we are going to do it is through eight experiments that show your nervous system that it is safe doing math Now, okay, this was gonna be one episode. I was just gonna do eight things in one episode, and then I realized as I started writing them out, I was like, "This is gonna take forever." Like, it's already been five minutes, and we're still in the intro of the episode. So I'm actually gonna do my first, like, two-part, let's call it a masterclass 'cause it sounds great, but, like, a two-part episode, right? A two-part mini masterclass on how you are going to feel more confident entering the math classroom in September. A two-part mini masterclass of eight experiments that we are going to engage in to teach your nervous system that it is safe to do math, and to, through safety, feeling confident around mathematics. you don't need to try all of them But I want you to find one thing to try. So we're about to get into four things right now, and then next week we're gonna do four other things. I want you to find the one thing that you're like, "Okay, I could, I could start trying this out. I could try this out for a week." Okay? I want you to do that, and I want you to try it. I also want you to... I'm sure right now as I'm talking you're like, "Oh my God, I know exactly who needs to hear this episode." Whoever that person is, text this episode to them right now. Get them into the two-part mini masterclass with you. So for the next two weeks, you guys can listen together, you can pick a thing to try together, and you can engage in this together, because actually, spoiler alert, my first tip is going to be about finding a person to do this with. Okay? So we're- I'm jumping ahead here, but I want you to think of that person, okay? I want you to think of that teacher friend that, like, you, you know they have so much potential to feel good, and you're just like, ugh, it breaks your heart every time they, like, you know, sit with you at lunch or on the weekend or in your group chat, and they're like, "Ugh, I feel so shitty, and I feel like, you know, I don't feel confident." And you're sitting there watching them being like, "This person is a great math teacher, and they have the potential to be an even better math teacher if they just felt better and they felt more confident." This episode is for them. It's gonna give them actionable things to try, and you sending it to them is gonna show them, "Hey, I believe in you. You have what it takes. You just need to feel more confident, and I believe that you can do that." So send it to them. And you know what? The eight experiments I'm gonna give you for your nervous system have nothing to do with teaching, okay? Anybody can use these eight things right now. And remember, we're only gonna get into four of them just so, like, I just wanna prevent overwhelm. We're gonna get into four things you can try right away. And you're gonna see this isn't really about math, right? I- like, it is about math, of course, but the cool thing that happens, uh, be- because here's, here's what I'm thinking. If you're listening to this and you're like, "I don't feel weird about math," like, "I feel great about math. I've never been anxious about math," the reason I love choosing math as a gateway here is because so many people have anxiety around math, right? We know that by the age of 6, 50% of kids already have anxiety around math. Reports show that 75 to 90% of North Americans have anxiety around math. That is crazy, right? That- that's a lot. Because so many people feel like math is this thing that is hard, that they can't get over, that makes them feel unsafe, it is the perfect gateway Right? Once we can start feeling more confident around math, all of a sudden it opens up the door to feeling more confident about other things. If we can tackle this thing that has always felt scary to us, what else can we do, right? So you'll see, like, it isn't about being like, "Oh my God, I'm gonna feel better about math, so now I can, like, enroll in calculus and become an engineer." No, I want everybody listening to feel a little bit better about their relationship with math, to feel a little bit safer, to feel a little more confident, so then they can go after the thing they really want that they have been scared of for years and years and years, right? This is just, like, a stepping stone. Okay, so we're gonna get into it, but before we do, guess what, guys? This episode is sponsored by Texas Instruments, which means we're doing another giveaway. Now, I only have one more giveaway left. It's happening in August. If you guys remember, Texas Instruments has given us the, the, uh, go-ahead to do a giveaway for the new Texas Instruments Evo calculator, and an entire gift box that goes along with that, and I've done one a month since May. So there's only two left, this one right now, and then one in August. So I- if you guys a- are, like, on, on the TI Instagram, you'll know that people are going insane for this calculator. I actually presented at CAMT in Texas last week. It was crazy. They had this, like, thing where, like, 500 people could, well, you know, could get entry into, like, this TI party, and they'd get a gift bag. Now, no one knew what was in the gift bag, okay? But I walked through the hall during the lineup for this party. It was like a Taylor Swift concert. There were 500 screaming fans in line, so excited to get in, so excited for the chance to just, like, party and rage with Texas Instruments, and it turned out that all 500 of them got a new Evo and the cute little calculator plushie that comes in the gift box I'm giving away that everyone's obsessed with. Okay. So there are so many reasons to be obsessed with this calculator. My newest obsession, okay, I, that I discovered last week. The points of interest trace function. Let me explain this to you, okay? So if you've used a graphing calculator, and even if you haven't, I want you to picture you've got a graph on your screen, okay? On their beautiful, shiny, lovely screen, there is a graph. You can literally trace across that graph, okay? Trace across the function, and the calculator will dynamically highlight key graph features like the zeros, the minimums and the maximums, the Y intercepts, the intersections. No second function nonsense. Like, you can just trace, and it'll highlight that all for you. So that is amazing, and also, like, it comes in the cutest colors like berry pink and, like, teal and lavender and silver. Like, it's just, the whole thing is stunning. Okay, so here's how you're gonna win this calculator. At some point during this episode, I'm gonna share a code with you, and to enter the giveaway all you have to do is text the podcast. Go to your show notes, click the Text Us button, the link, whatever, and text us the code word and you will automatically be entered. I'll pick a winner next week, and just like that, the TI is yours. Okay. This is a long introduction, but I feel like I've said some very useful stuff in the introduction. So whatever. It is what it is. Here we go

1) don't do it alone - find a math friend

Vanessa Vakharia 12:14

Part one of a two-part mini masterclass on how to feel more confident about math in September by engaging in eight little experiments that are going to help your brain feel safer around math. We're gonna do four this week, starting with number one, which is find one math friend. Now, here's the thing. There's a whole myth out there that, like, confident mathematicians don't need help. Like, it's a solo sport. Like, they don't need to ask for help during questions. And in fact, I actually think this is why we have been so adverse to collaboration in math class for so long. Like, we've really treated math class like it's this thing you're supposed to be able to do on your own. You asking for help is cheating. Okay. This is such bullshit because I want you guys to think about the real world. I want you to think about what scientists and mathematicians have been doing for years, for centuries. They have been working with one another. That's what they do. Any good scientist, they, they're not discovering things on their own. They're collaborating, they're exchanging experiments, they're, like, doing trials. They're being like, "Ooh, what worked for you? What, like, should I do here?" Like, la, la, la, la, la. Like, that is how innovation actually happens, and problem-solving is all about creativity and collaboration. So that's number one, okay? We've gotta get rid of this solo sport thing. So I want you out there, if you're thinking, "Well, yeah, I can do math sometimes, and sometimes I get this right, but I always have to ask someone," great. Guess what you're doing when you ask someone? You're acting like a mathematician. If you've been listening to this podcast for a while, like if this is not your first episode ever, if this is your first episode, welcome to the pod, and like, I know this episode sounds very unhinged, but I'm not always this unhinged, and I also am always this unhinged. Okay. Anyways, if you've been listening for a while, you will know that all of our guests are constantly talking about the people they love. They are referencing those that inspired them to get into field. They're talking about how other people's works have been a jumping-off point for their work. Like, we are all working together. So I want you to know the mathiest people you know, like if you're like, "Oh my God, but this person's so good at math," they, they are standing on the shoulders of greats. You know? Someone inspired them. They used their work. They're still asking for help. They're still collaborating with their friends. And I want you to find one math friend to collaborate with you starting right now on your journey. This doesn't mean that you and your friend have to do math together every day. It's that friend that you are going to text when you're like, "Ugh, I'm really, really stressed. I can't figure this thing out," or, "Ugh, I'm so frustrated. I tried to do this thing and I failed. Can you help me not feel like shit about myself?" It's your pep-talking friend. This friend doesn't need to have to do anything with math. Maybe they hate math And if they do hate math, they, they should actually engage in this entire program with you. That would even be better. It's the friend that you're gonna text for that pick-me-up. It's the teacher friend that when a lesson flops, you message them to be like, "This thing totally flopped," and they help you see the other side. They help you see what they learned, okay? That is gonna be step number one. You need someone to engage on this journey with. They don't have to do the journey with you, but they have to be the person that you're gonna text when you feel like, ugh, this isn't working the way I thought. Because guess what, guys? You're embarking on a journey, an experimenting journey, which means what happens when we do experiments? They flop a lot of the time, right? They don't turn out the way we expect. That is a whole part, thing about, like, experimenting. You've gotta be ready for that, right? And when you're ready for that, you are gonna be good to go. Because when you fail, when you encounter an obstacle, which you will, you'll have that person to text for a little pep talk, okay? So think about that one person who's gonna be your go-to texter. Maybe you're even gonna message them and be like, "Hey, I don't know, I'm doing this weird, like, experiment, this mini masterclass with, like, math therapy. It might be nothing, but I might need to text you one- once in a while for a pep talk." You know? Tell them that right now so they are ready and they're on board. I want you to remember math anxiety grows in isolation. That's actually how anxiety flourishes. We keep it to ourselves, our thoughts spiral, we get all in our heads, and that's how it grows and takes us over. But math confidence grows in community, because when we have community, when we have somebody else reflecting back to us what we're doing and what we're thinking, we see the reality instead of the tricks anxiety is trying to play on our mind.

2) replace "proving" with "improving"

Vanessa Vakharia 16:23

Okay. Number two, experiment and experience number two is you are going to replace proving with improving. How often are we secretly trying to prove that we're good enough, right? Especially I feel like in education, we are constantly feeling like we're being evaluated by our students, by their parents, by the leaders, by the admin, like by the whatever, the, the data. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's always like this feeling like we've gotta like show that we are mastering what we're doing. Well, here's the thing What are we asking our students to do? We want our students to be learning and growing and progressing. We don't want them to be perfect, yet we hold ourselves to a completely different standard, right? Like, I think a lot of us think, I don't know about you guys, but I always think when I tell someone that I do math or I'm a math teacher, immediately something in my mind goes, "Okay, Vanessa, you just told them you are a math teacher. You now have to get every single mathematical thing ever perfect in front of this person," right? You cannot make a wrong calculation error. You can't hesitate. You can't say, "I don't know." Like, you better be ready to calculate, to crunch numbers, and to just get it right every single time, to have every single answer. It's crazy. Like, I do this work, and I still feel that way, and I think it's because, again, I, I... We could dig so deep into this. We have this idea that if you're good at math, you're supposed to be this, like, genius that's, like, infallible. And I actually think about music, you know? Like, I think... I, I'm actually wondering this out loud. I'm like, if I tell someone I'm a musician, which, like, I am, I'm a musician, there have actually been times when people have done things to challenge that. I remember our band was auditioning this drummer once. Like, we were trying to find a new drummer for the band, and this guy we were auditioning said, he named some band. He was like, "Oh, blah, blah, blah, I'm really inspired by whoever." And I was like, "Oh, I don't know who that is." And he literally said to me, "You're a singer in a rock band, and you don't know who blah, blah, blah is? Like, that should be illegal." And I was like, "Okay, well, first of all, fuck you. I'm never hiring you. It's my band, and you are not gonna be my drummer." But I also was like, even though I knew it was bullshit, I was sort of like, "Oh, like, that's the, that's his standard?" Right? Is, is that a thing? Like, if you're a musician, you should know every single band? Like, if you're a musician, should you know every single note? And it's taken me a while, but I'm very comfortable now with being like, "Yeah, I'm a musician, and these are the things I do." Like, I play a keytar, and, like, I can shred a solo for you, but, like, I don't know anything about music theory. Like, I think about David, actually, who is one of the best guitarists I know. He knows nothing about music theory. It doesn't matter. He's an incredible guitarist, right? No one would ever debate that. And I think we've got to carry that over into math class is, like, you can be, uh, uh, like somebody who does math. You can be good at math. You can teach math. You can be a math learner. You can be a math doer. You can be a math thinker, and it doesn't suddenly mean you need to, like, expertly know how to do every single mathematical thing in the world. That doesn't even make sense. There's so much math, right? So, like, I think this is the thing, the idea of replacing proving with improving. Instead of being like, "Oh my God, I need to be 100% at everything I do," I want you to ask this question Okay? Every single day starting now, I want you to ask this question about anything. It can be about math, it can be about math, but remember, these are eight experiments to get your nervous system feeling safer around doing math, AKA around doing something that you think is hard, that you don't feel confident about right now. And that doesn't always mean doing math. It means setting the stage in your nervous system and mind to feel better around hard things that make you anxious. So here's the question you're gonna ask every single day this week. What's one thing I could understand 1% better today? It can be anything. Maybe I wanna know how AI actually works. Maybe I wanna understand why does my oat milk curdle in coffee sometimes, but not all the times. Like, is it the, is it a temperature? Is it the type of oat milk? Like, I don't get it. How your car works, how GPS actually works, how the thing on Waze will say, like, "There's a police person here." Are they still there? Like, who has to input that in for that to show up? Maybe you're trying to understand why your hair is frizzy sometimes. Like, Maybe you are trying to understand why flipping and multiplying works with fractions. Maybe it is a math thing you're trying to understand. I don't care what it is you're trying to understand, but I want you to try to understand something. No, I want you to understand something 1% better. I want you to- don't want you to understand the entire thing. So for example, if I'm like, "I wanna figure out why my oat milk is curdling," I might do a preliminary search. I might ask a barista, and I'm gonna take one piece of information, and that is gonna make me 1% smarter about that thing. Okay, this is not a mathematical calculation, okay? But, like, the point is, I don't want you being like, "I am going to fully research all the ins and outs of oat milk and exactly how curdling works." And, like, a 10 hours later, you have, like, a 20-page report. No. No. I don't want you to do that. Why? Number one, it's overwhelming, and we're not trying to overwhelm you. We're trying to show your nervous system it can learn new things incrementally in a small and stress-free way. Okay? We're trying to show you, "I didn't understand something, and now I still don't fully understand it, but I understand it a little bit more." You're trying to show your nervous system it can grow and change. You're trying to show your nervous system that as your brain grows and changes, it doesn't have to be scary. Do you see what I mean? So, like, how does GPS work? That's, that is giving me anxiety even thinking of trying to learn that. Maybe I can figure out one question. One question. Maybe I can go onto Google and be like, "How does GPS know where I am right now?" And if I was really being smart about it, I'd be like, "Can you explain to me, like I'm a six-year-old, how when I open my phone, GPS locates me in this exact spot? What is it doing?" Like, I don't know, whatever. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, what is something that you're interested in learning about that every day you're just like, "I don't really know. I don't really care." Right? Or you're like, "I don't really know and it stresses me out." You guys know from that episode I did around taxes right? You guys know what happened to me. I had such a meltdown because every day for my entire life I have not understood how taxes work. Really. Honestly. And finally, I called an accountant and asked a few questions, and it took the temperature down so much. I have 10 billion more questions. I don't really... I don't know a lot of things. But in him explaining a few things to me, number one, it showed me I am capable of understanding things related to taxes. Number two, it made me realize, oh, him answering these three questions make, like, 30 of my other questions null and void. I don't even have to ask them. They don't actually really matter now that I understand these three questions. And three or four, whatever number I'm on It signaled to me, oh, I understand a little more now. I'm less confused. I'm less stressed out because I'm less confused. You know, this kinda reminds me of my episode with Cathy Marks-Kirpan last week, how she was talking about how the reason plane travel and things going wrong on planes feel so stressful to her is because of just not knowing what's going on, right? Like, you're sitting there, you're on the plane, and you're like... They're like, "Mechanical issues. Like, you're just gonna sit here for some indeterminate amount of time." And you're like, "I have no fucking clue what's going on." Like, what is the technical issue? Is it the wing falling off or is it the air conditioning? Like, what's an indeterminate amount of time? Could you keep us here for 10 hours? And if like a flight attendant was just like, "Just FYI, we can't tell you that much, but just so you know, the mechanical issue is just a superficial one. It's not related to the safety of the plane. And regarding timing, we don't know how long you'll be here, but it won't be longer than two hours." You'd be like, "Okay, I don't know everything, but I know 1% more and I feel a lot better." So number one, it really turns the temperature down. But the key thing about learning that little 1% is it shows you you have the ability to learn something you did not know. You wanna give yourself that aha moment every single day to train your body, to train your mind to know I'm getting this aha moment. I can get it with math. And I would start by doing it with things that feel really comfortable and not scary. Like for me, the scariest thing would be like, all right, I'm gonna learn 1% about like something legal or tax related. Like, ugh, that's, that's too high stakes for me. That's too stressful. That's like, you know, someone listening being like, "I'm gonna learn 1% more about math." If that's such a trigger, don't start with math, right? Start with something else. Like, start with something you want to understand. Maybe you wanna understand, like, why it is that, you know, some people can dye their hair blonde and others like me can't because it just starts falling off. Like, I don't know. I don't know. I really don't know what you wanna understand. Start with something low stakes, but every day make sure you're learning 1% more about something. And when you're ready for it, add onto that. So maybe we're g- let's go back to the oat milk. One, one little fun fact about why oat milk curdles, and maybe tomorrow I'm like, "Okay, I understand that. I'm gonna, I'm, I'm gonna ask further." Like, are there different types of oat milk that, like, curdle differently? Then maybe I'm gonna ask the next day, what about the acidity of the base that I put the oat milk in? Why am I obsessed with this? I don't know. But the point is now I'm building on that knowledge, right? The goal is for me to learn all about this thing, but to know that my goal is never to learn 100% of the thing. That is so overwhelming. So okay, that's what you're doing this week, okay? You are gonna learn 1%. This is your question: What's one thing I could understand 1% better today? And I want you to start that as soon as this podcast is over. What is something you're gonna learn today? What is something you're gonna understand 1% better? And when you're ready, and this does not have to be this week, maybe it's next week during our part two, you are going to ask yourself about something mathematical. What is something about this concept I could understand 1% better? But you don't have to do that yet. Okay. Now, it has been a lot. Oh my God, can you believe I was gonna try to do eight experiments/experiences in this one episode? We're only at number two and it's already been over 25 minutes. Okay, don't worry. I'm gonna be, I'm gonna, I'm gonna wrap things up a little bit quicker with the next two. But before I do, it is time for the Texas Instruments code word, which is a code sentence, and that sentence is, "Math is hot." Go to the app that you're listening to this podcast to, click the Text Us link in your show notes, and text us the sentence, "Math is hot," and you'll automatically be entered to win the new Texas Instruments 84 Evo. Okay.

3) build an evidence folder of your successes

Vanessa Vakharia 26:47

So we had experiment number one, which is finding one math friend. You're gonna find a math friend that you are gonna text when things get rough. Number two, you're gonna replace proving with improving. Okay, you're gonna replace the idea of proving that you're right to just improving on your knowledge every single day. And number three is that you are gonna build an evidence folder. Now, let me explain this to you. Our brains are, are wired with a negativity bias, okay? And that is a protective mechanism. I talk about this on the podcast a lot, but as a reminder, our negativity bias wants to remember the bad shit that has happened to us. It is trying to protect us. It is on the lookout. It's like, "Ugh, remember this time though when you did math and, like, you felt so ashamed, and you shut down, and you couldn't even, like, breathe, and you couldn't see straight, and it just sucked, and you couldn't understand no matter how much your teacher explained it to you? Remember that time? That could happen again. Danger. Danger. Danger. Danger." That's what it's doing, okay? Now, maybe since that time you've had, like, 30 great math experiences. You understood something. You taught a lesson. You taught a ton of lessons. Everything was fine. Doesn't matter. Your brain is still like, "Yeah, but that one time, that one time could happen again." Because its entire job is to protect us from bad shit, which is so nice, right? Like, so nice of it to, like, be on the lookout for us. What a great friend. Like, that's so nice. We appreciate it. However, it is really cramping our style at this point because it is preventing us from doing the thing we need to do to feel more confident around math, which is we need to engage in more mathematical experiences, and we don't want to because we're scared of this bad shit happening to us. So here's what we have to do. We have to build an evidence folder to show this negativity bias. We have to literally be like, "I get that you're hung up on that one time, or these few times, or all of grade four, whatever. I get that you're hung up on it, but look at all the evidence I have that when I do math and when I'm around math, it's actually a good vibe." We can't just experience math in a positive way. We have to experience math in a positive way, gather that evidence, and hold it up to our negativity bias and be like, "Hello. Check it out. I've got the receipts, babe. Like, they're all right here." We have to make it so salient to our brain that we are counteracting the negativity bias with all of the positive receipts Now, remember at the beginning of this episode I was like, "It's not like I'm having another mental breakdown, but, like, I low-key am"? Here's why. We, I, I now know what's going on. This is exactly like my last episode. I get v- I get really worked up around feeling disorganized. I am constantly feeling like there are better systems, there are better ways of doing things, I'm so behind, I'm being inefficient. It, it's my trigger. It's just my thing, okay? And every time it comes up, I start spiraling. All I'm thinking about are spreadsheets and apps that I've never even used, but that I'm convinced must be better than what I'm doing now. I'm like, "I must have some better system." Like, "Oh my God, I almost missed this thing. Like, my spreadsheet isn't complete. I didn't fill out this thing. Like, my website is missing the..." Like, I start focusing on all the things I have not done, I'm not doing, I could and should be doing. This morning in my journal, I wrote down that one of my goals for today was to collect receipts for my negativity bias of all the ways I am organized. It is so hard to do, guys. It's so hard to do, but that's why I'm on here telling you to do it. We are both doing it. I am your math friend now. We are now doing step one together. Like, we are accountable to one another. I am trying to s- to rewire, to show my negativity bias, "But babe, we are organized. Like, sure, there's all these things we could be doing, but look at all the things we are doing. I'm sitting here recording a podcast episode at the exact date that it's due. I'm not even late. I'm recording it right now. I have answered all of the emails in my inbox that are urgent. Like, those are done." But of course, my negativity bias is like, "But all the other ones sitting in there, you could be answering those, too." And now I'm like, "I know I could be, but I've answered all the ones I have to." Right? Like, this is collecting the receipts. This is collecting evidence. And honestly, me saying it out loud to you is solidifying it more. But if, if you, if I was you, if you were me, whatever, I mean, you could start your own podcast, but I need you to write them down. I need you to write them down. I need you to take pictures. I need you to create an evidence folder. And what are you finding evidence of? You are finding evidence that you are capable of learning new things and doing hard things, okay? Learning new things, doing hard things. Again, they can be related to math if you want them to be. To me, that is the next step that we don't even have to start till next week. We don't even have to bring math into it. But hey, babe, if you wanna start with some mathy things that you have learned Or that you have done, please put those in the evidence folder. The whole point of the evidence folder is to show the negativity bias, "Hey, when you do math, it's not always bad. Hey, when you learn new things, it's not always bad. Hey, when you do hard things, it's not always bad. In fact, it's often great." Okay? So I need you to gather that evidence because the more you can show your negativity bias, "Hey, I know you're scared, I know bad things can happen, but look at all the great things that have happened as a result of me learning new things, doing hard things, and doing math," the less scared you are and the more your nervous system registers, "It's safe to do math. It's safe to do hard things. It's safe to do things I don't know how to do." So I want you to collect moments, small wins over things you found frustrating, understanding something that felt tricky. Like, it doesn't have to be math related, as I said, but it has to be related to the fact that you are learning new things or doing hard things because we are flexing the same muscle as when you tackle the thing that feels scary to you, which for many of you listening is math, right? So the more we can flex that muscle, the more we can strengthen it, the more we can just show the nervous system it is safe to engage in this type of activity, the more confident you're gonna feel in the fall, but also the more confident you're gonna feel to try more math throughout the rest of the summer. Remember, confidence is not positive thinking. It's not like s- looking in the mirror and being like, "I can do hard things." Like, "I'm not scared. Math doesn't scare me." I love math-firmations. I love them, but that's not where confidence comes from. Confidence isn't positive thinking. Confidence is remembered evidence. It really is. It's embodied evidence that comes from experience.

4) collect your moments of math confidence

Vanessa Vakharia 33:17

Okay, and finally, for experiment/experience number four, you are... Okay, you just finished collecting your evidence. You're gonna be collecting evidence every single day. Now you are gonna collect math moments, and this is the only, like, fully mathy one that we are gonna do this week. Here's what you're gonna do. You're collecting evidence that you can do hard things, you can learn new things, you can grow and change, you can have aha moments, like, whatever. Now, what you're gonna do is you are going to show your, not just your negativity bias, okay? But you're gonna actually show your reticular activating system. Don't worry, big word, we'll get into it in a second. You're gonna show it that you have been around and engaging with math every single day, and it's actually been a great time. Now, our reticular activating system/RAS is this thing in our brain that, like, it's kind of like our algorithm in our phones. It catches on to the fact that we're interested in something, and it shows it to us. So for example, you guys know I love 222. It's my angel number. I see 222 literally everywhere. It's not because 222 is, like, popping up more than normal for me. It's because I'm seeing it more than other people. Like, you and I could go through the exact same day in the same place with the same clocks and technology around us, and I'm gonna see 222 more than you because my brain, my reticular activating system, is on high alert to point it out when it happens. It doesn't mean you're not gonna see it, but you're not gonna register it or care, right? Our reticular activating system works for us. It works for us. It's like a work bitch situation, right? Like, we're like, "I wanna see this. Show me this." Now, normally we do this subconsciously, but we are gonna do it consciously. We are gonna say to it, "I want you to show me all the math I am doing and all the math around me, starting right now. You are literally gonna become a math detective. Okay? You and your RAS are gonna be like cute little PIs, and you're gonna be like, "All right, we're on the hunt." As you're walking around the day, I want you to notice things. You pay for your coffee, you notice the temperature of that warm beverage. You're in the park and you see the symmetry of the flowers. You hear music at a grocery store and you're like, "This really is off tempo for the fact that I'm shopping for tomato sauce right now. I just don't feel like these things are vibing. The rhythm is really off." You're gonna notice architecture around you. You're gonna notice how buildings are designed. Maybe you're on a trip and you're like, "Oh my God, wow, it looks so different here. What's making it look different?" Maybe it's the angles of the houses. Maybe it's the way that things are constructed and built. You are going to be watching sports, and you're gonna notice moves that people are gonna making. You're gonna be talking about the score, and all th- You're already doing these things. You're already doing these things, but I want you and your RAS to work together to say, "Ding, ding, ding, math alert." Okay? Just like that. "Ding, ding, ding, math alert" every single time. You go to a yoga class, you're noticing that that teacher is sequencing things so perfectly. You're realizing that you can follow the pattern subconsciously because, oh my God, wow, I'm in tune with this pattern and sequence without even meaning to. How mathematical of me. Ding, ding, ding, math alert. Right? Like, I want you to like, you're on a beach and you're looking at the waves, and the pattern of the waves, and the tide, and whatever. I want you to, you're collecting math moments, and you're ding, ding, dinging math alert all the way home. Okay? So for the next week, that's what you're doing. Again, write these down. What you're doing here, this isn't just like, "Oh, cool, yeah, I'm doing math," and then in your mind you're like, "But this isn't actually scary math." That's not the point of this. The point of this, again, is to show your nervous system math is around me, I'm doing math, I'm noticing math, I'm wondering about math, I'm engaging in math, and nothing bad is happening. That is the entire point of these four things that we've done together today. Okay? Right? The point of these four things is not to suddenly make you a fractions expert. The point is to show your nervous system when math is around me, when I engage in math, when I try new things that are hard, when I approach things that I'm anxious about, nothing bad happens. I am safe. And when you're safe, you have a gateway to confidence. You cannot feel confident when you are in fear. We are just trying to get you to feel safe so that next week in part two of this mini master class, this mini Math Therapy master class. Oh my God, why wasn't I saying that from the beginning? Next week in our part two of our mini Math Therapy master class series... okay, whatever. I'll workshop that. We will start getting into four other experiments and experiences you can engage in to help you feel even safer and more confident when you head into the math classroom in the fall.

Summary

Vanessa Vakharia 37:44

Okay. Oh my God, that was long. That was really long. Okay, are we ready? So let's wrap up. So we have four things for you to try doing. Let's go over them. Number one is find one math friend or just that friend, right? Like, we're calling this person a math friend, but it's that person you can text in a pinch when you're feeling like, "Ugh, this feels frustrating," or it feels hard, or, "I don't know if I can carry on." Number two, you are gonna replace the word proving with improving by asking yourself, "What's one thing I could understand 1% better today?" Number three, you are gonna build an evidence folder. Evidence that you can learn new things and do hard things, okay? I want you to fill that evidence folder. And number four, you're gonna start collecting math moments. You and your RAS are gonna be ding, ding, ding, math alerting your way through the week. Okay? So now, you are going to tell me which one you're gonna do. Reminder about the giveaway, by the way, right? I said the code word after the second tip, so you can text the code word/code sentence to us by hitting the link in your show notes that says Text Us. While you're at it, tell me the one thing you're gonna try this week. Out of these four, tell me the one thing you're gonna try this week. And remember to tune in next week for part two. And of course, if you're listening to this and you're like, "Oh my God. Oh my God. I know who needs to try this", text this to them right now, and in fact, they can be your math friend. You texting them this podcast can be you doing experiment number one, which is to find a math friend. So there you go. There you go. Thank you guys so much for listening. You're the best. I hope you're having the best summer. I can't wait to hear from you, and I can't wait for us to all feel more confident around math and safer in our bodies starting right now.