Intro

Vanessa Vakharia 0:04

Okay, guys. I feel, I feel weird saying, "Hi, and welcome to another episode of Math Therapy," because I'm not supposed to be welcoming you to another episode of Math Therapy, because there's not supposed to be another episode because I'm on vacation. And as you heard at the end of the last episode, I was like, "Guys, I'm going on vacation. I will not be recording another episode. I'm not working for seven days," which is true. But David has always taught me not to leave the house without a mic, and so I packed my mic just in case something crazy happened, and something crazy kinda did happen. So I was like, "You know what? Gotta whip the mic out." It's gonna be short, but I do feel like I have gotten a nudge from the universe, and I feel called to tell you about it. Because I woke up this morning, guys, and I had a text message from jail, and I was like... I, I'm sorry. I have to read it out loud on the pod. Now let me back up and remind you that I work with an organization called the Prison Mathematics Project. As you may recall, back in season three, I interviewed Christopher Havens. He's an incredible human who is currently incarcerated, serving a 25-year sentence, and he started something called the Prison Mathematics Project, an incredible organization that helps prisoners rehabilitate with math across North America. Now, as part of the volunteering that I do with them, I write a quarterly column in their newsletter where it's like, it's like a ask-the-math-guru type thing. So inmates will write in and say things like, "I'm trying to work on a math problem and I'm stuck," or, I'm getting really, really frustrated. I feel really anxious. I feel stressed." And I'll help them out and we talk it through together. It's really, really cool. But another amazing thing is Math Therapy, our podcast, is available on the tablet system throughout every single American prison, which means incarcerated individuals get to listen to Math Therapy. Well, or I have the honor of having them listen to Math Therapy. I also communicate one-on-one with a few of them, and Timothy Jones and I have been working together so that he can create a Math Therapy group at his facility. And when I say working together, I mean he's done all of the work. He just submitted a 28-page proposal. I sent him, like, a couple of books and, I'm a cheer squad. But he's done it all on his own. He's tutoring people at his facility. He's creating a community and trying to create an actual group where they can work through math therapy together, which is so, so, so cool. And everyone listening, I want you to know that I'm vouching for this so, so hard, and I'm happy to do whatever to make it happen because, I mean, what a cool vibe. Now, on this particular day, Timothy Jones has texted me. Why? Because he listened to my episode about my spiral. So I feel like I have to read this to you because as you guys know, the past couple of episodes I've been working through like my own anxiety spiral around feeling out of control and that being triggered by taxes and then turning into a whole thing about to-do lists and like productivity and am I good enough and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Anyways, I'm not even gonna say too much more because I'm gonna let the words of Timothy Jones speak for themselves. Because you know what? This text message contains so much great advice and just reminds me that we are all, as Ram Dass said, walking each other home. We all have these incredible gifts to share with one another, and I just feel so, so lucky to be the recipient of such a gift today, and I wanna share it with you. By the way, before I read this out loud, I just wanna make sure you guys know that I have Timothy's permission to share this with you guys Okay,

Timothy's pep talk from prison

Vanessa Vakharia 3:36

so I'm just gonna read the text message out verbatim: listened to your podcast and I had to respond. I can relate with what you're going through. I have to be doing 20 things at once to properly function. It drives people crazy. Taxes are an issue, but here are a few ideas. Number one, convert your taxes into a word problem. Seriously, turn them into something you can relate to. You can also teach yourself taxes either online or buy one of those books. Then there's the option of, as you asked for, an accountant. If you go with an accountant, then have her or him show you how to do taxes so you will know how in the future. Organization. Hire a personal assistant or someone to come in and organize everything for you. You can also set one day aside and spend that entire day doing nothing but organizing everything. Then you have to spend at least 20 to 30 minutes each day updating your stuff so you do not get behind again. I would just like to interrupt right now by saying that Mel Robbins gave this exact same advice on one of her recent podcasts. She called it like setting aside a personal admin day where you like sit and just get everything organized, do all that admin work. But she did not mention the part of you need to spend some time every day updating your stuff so you don't get behind again. Great advice. Back to the text. Now onto the main issue, your downward spiral. I can definitely relate. I've gone through spirals myself. As a child, ages six to 18, I was raised in institutions where I suffered daily forms of abuse, including verbal, being told I was stupid, useless, unlovable, et cetera. Over time, I came to believe these lies. Later in life, something would happen and I would remember that I was stupid, which opened the door for other misbeliefs to creep in until I was spiraling down once again. One thing led to another. I started self-therapy late in life, and I had to start with the root cause. I had to figure out what was the start of my issues, in my case, abuse, and then I had to change my way of thinking. For me, it was why I used to believe, but now I know. Why was because when you're told something over and over again on a daily basis, it then becomes your truth. Next, I had to change that lie into my new truth. I started by writing down all of the false things that I was told and why they were false. Then I wrote down all of the things that I knew to be true, all of the good things about me that contradicted those lies. Whenever I would start to spiral, I would pull out my notes and read them out loud, reinforcing my new truths. Writing it down, then reading it out loud helps to reinforce the positive message. You utilize multiple senses when doing this. You have to think about what to write, then actually write it, then read it, then say it out loud. So you cover mental, visual, and audio reinforcements. Fair warning, I've done self-therapy for 20 years and I'm still a fucking train wreck. It is a daily ongoing project that takes dedication, but I'm so much better than I was. Vanessa, you are a wonderful, intelligent, creative, talented, and caring person. I can tell you that every day and it don't mean squat unless you believe that and you say it about yourself. Make a list of all your accomplishments. Don't be modest about it. Whenever you start to doubt yourself or you start to go into a spiral, pull out that list and look at it. Think about all that you had to do to achieve those things, and tell yourself that you are fucking awesome. If you ever need to vent, need an ear to listen, want to bitch or moan, or simply wanna complain, remember I'm here. You have a captive audience in me. Oh my God. Oh my God. He said, "You have a captive audience in me," in air quotes, and a smiley face emoji. Yeah, that's, that's a good one. Always remember you help others, and that makes you a very unique and special person. Each morning when you wake up, tell yourself that you're awesome, you're special, and that you are loved. Hope this helped.

Outro

Vanessa Vakharia 7:01

Okay, I'm, I'm kind of speechless and don't wanna even say anything 'cause I feel like the letter speaks for itself. So I think I will just leave it there and say, wow. I hope you take a lot of those words to heart yourself. He-- I couldn't have said it any better, and I think a lot of those words will probably find their way into my next Math Therapy book. Some really, really, really good advice in there. And honestly, I'm just gonna repeat that line again. You guys, you are all wonderful, intelligent, creative, talented, and caring people. I can tell you guys that every day, and it don't mean squat unless you believe that and say it about yourself. I think I'm just gonna wrap it up right there and say thank you guys all so much for listening. I hope you take that advice to heart. I know I will be. And just a reminder that there really is kindness everywhere, there is wisdom everywhere. We are all here on the planet just helping one another out, and it's kind of amazing to think that you don't know where that, that next little gem, that little diamond, that little thing that makes you go, "Huh," and makes your life a little bit better will come from. So hopefully it came from Timothy Jones today because I know it did for me, and I hope that shed a little light on your day and gave you that feeling that you just never know. You just never know. All right, guys. Thank you so much. I will be back next week with an actual episode, a full ep- well, this was an actual episode. What am I talking about? This was an episode. But you know, this was a mini episode. I hope you guys, by the way, listen to what dropped yesterday from HeartWork AKA Imagine Learning's podcast because I am featured on that with Deborah Peart and one of my old students, Emma Fogel, and it is a crazy second episode of a three-part series, this investigative, like really deep dive series into math anxiety. So go look up Imagine Learning, go do that, and I'm gonna let you guys go. You rock. Text the podcast if you have any thoughts. Look up Prison Mathematics Project. They're looking for help. They're looking for volunteers. They're looking for funding to keep on going. It's an incredible, incredible program. All right. Bye guys. See you on the other side.